I am a 38-12 months-old woman, married with two young kids. Just lately, I went on a business trip and had an affair with a man 30 years my senior and something of a mentor figure. The next day he averted me; when he did finally talk to me, he was distant and patronising.

You ask why this affair occurred. I talked to psychotherapist Cate Campbell (bacp.co.uk), who specialises in relationships and has written two books about sex. She told me about a study by Rosemary Basson, a professor of sexual drugs, that discovered that 10 years was the utmost size of time “active desire” might stretch in a relationship for many individuals. After that, “regardless of your age or how a lot in love you are, want is responsive and follows arousal, relatively than occurring spontaneously”.

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